Fallen
by Jadet
Summary: Alls fair in love and war, but Ukyo realizes even some things go too far. But how do you make up for it? A character sketch of Ukyo after the failed wedding attempt.


Disclaimer: I'm sure you all know what goes here. Not mine, not me, no money, nada. nods Carry on.

Author's notes: A character-sketch, of sorts, of Ukyo right after the failed wedding attempt. Since I do actually like her character, despite some rather stupid actions on her part, I wrote her rather sympathetically. So if you don't like her, Konatsu, or a mild dose of RanmaxAkane, I would suggest you look elsewhere. BUT! If you do like all of the above, then by all means, please read. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Fallen

A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction

By Jadet

Copyright 08'

* * *

It was a bare two days after the failed wedding attempt, known better as the "Incident" throughout Nerima, that Akane caught a cold and was ordered to bed. There were a number of theories as to why Akane caught that particular cold so soon after her wedding. It was early summer, for one thing, so it wasn't really a common time for colds. The cold was also seemed unusually strong, despite the fact Akane was so healthy only two days earlier. Within two hours of the first symptoms, which were a small sniffle and sore throat, she was coughing hard enough that many people expected to see not only her lungs but all of her internal organs come flying from her mouth. The coughs racked her small body and soon small spasms of pain accompanied the fits. She also had a temperature of 103, which Dr. Tofu declared dangerously high and ordered ice packed around her body until she cooled down.

Yes, the townspeople of Nerima considered it quite peculiar that Akane got such a bad cold so soon after her wedding and that it had lasted so long, nearly a week. The more realistic townsfolk said it was probably due to stress; she had been in China only a few days before the wedding, and then look how the wedding turned out! That would stress anyone out, they would point out. Others said she probably caught something in China which made a few people give the Cat Cafe a wide berth for a few weeks, believing them to be contagious.

The truly suspicious and cynical townspeople, however, offered up their favorite theory. One of Ranma's other jilted brides, and the list was truly long, probably poisoned Akane in some fashion or another. This became the most popular theory and spread like wildfire through the town. Certain gymnasts, okonomiyaki, and ramen chefs suddenly felt critical and accusing eyes on them. The gymnast didn't seem to care overly much; in fact she seemed rather happy by the idea and the attention it gained her, and bounded through town over the rooftops laughing quite loudly and scaring children. The owners of the Cat Cafe pretended not to notice the attention and acted unconcerned. Their business actually picked up due to the rumors, which pleased their wallets in truth. They had a fair number of curious customers come in to see just who could poison such a sweet girl like Akane. Of course, while they were there, they would eat and gab and take bets on just who was responsible for the poisoning. Cologne was winning, but Shampoo was close behind. Mousse, rather grumpily, trailed the other two in bets.

The third target of such suspicion and dislike was Ukyo and, truth be told, she hated it. Yes, her business also picked up due to the curious customers, which brought in much needed revenue. She and Konatsu could finally afford to eat more than the day's leftovers and both got new clothes at long last. Though Konatsu was very good with a needle and thread, their day-to-day wear was starting to show its age and could no longer be mended. But for all the good such rumors brought, Ukyo hated the way it made her feel.

OK, yes, she was one of the people that crashed Ranma and Akane's wedding and caused considerable property damage. And, alright, she had been pretty mad at Akane that day and threw a few okonomiyaki bombs her way to make her point. But the point was, Ukyo felt really, really, really bad about it all. She really hadn't wanted to hurt Akane; she just didn't want Ranma to marry her.

The rumors, though, made her feel like an even more horrible person, if that was possible. She thought back to a little over a week earlier to the wedding. After the smoke had cleared and small fires had been put out, Ranma had cornered Ukyo and Shampoo (and attempted to grab Kodachi, though she had run off searching for her Ranma-sama) and glared at them. Ranma had looked oddly beautiful at that moment, even though he was in his female body in a tux too large and scorch marks all over his arms and face. He was an avenging angel, and his blue eyes glared up at both girls who cowered in front of him.

"Ranchan..." Ukyo began and stopped immediately when Ranma raised a hand, anger giving a faint red tinge to his petite body. Just from that she knew Ranma was angrier than she had ever seen him before.

"I'm really pissed at both of you right now," he said. For Ranma, this was surprisingly serious and direct. They were used to him tripping over his words, afraid of saying the wrong thing. But Ranma didn't act afraid right then. "Not only did you ruin the wedding, you caused a lot of damage and hurt a lot of people."

Ranma thrust one of his arms in their faces where they could see where an angry welt was already forming. "D'ya see? Those weren't little poppers you threw, but big, nasty bombs. And worse," he said, his eyes turning icy, "you almost hurt Akane."

Shampoo opened her mouth to protest, or perhaps say that the bombs were supposed to hurt Akane but not Ranma, but Ranma gave her a sharp glance and frowned. When Shampoo closed her mouth, Ranma clenched and unclenched his fists and addressed them both again.

"I don't want to see you two around here for awhile. And I mean it," Ranma growled when Shampoo opened her mouth again. "If I decide to forgive you, I'll come to you. But if you come to me before I'm ready, or if you go near Akane again..." he left the threat hanging in the air. After a heavy silence, he swiveled on his heel and picked his way through the chaos and debris toward Akane and her family. From across the dojo, Akane looked saddened and frail as she watched him approach, and Ukyo couldn't help but wonder if it was partly due to who crashed her wedding and not only because it didn't happen.

Ukyo couldn't find her voice to call back Ranma and apologize; it seemed to have fled once Ranma had glared at her with those hurt, accusing eyes that hardened. He had never looked at her like that before. She was terrified that whatever they had, and whatever they might have had, died when she threw the first okonomiyaki bomb.

Now, over a week days later, with the rumors of her possibly poisoning Akane and Ranma's absence from school and her life, Ukyo was feeling pretty miserable. She could feel Konatsu's worried glance from across the restaurant where he was serving customers but she couldn't summon the energy to smile at him. Poor Konatsu, he was included in the stares and the suspicion, even though he'd had nothing to do with her crashing the wedding. The townspeople just assumed he helped her when in fact he had been trying to convince her to not go through with her plans. Ukyo felt bad for him but didn't know what she could to make it up to him.

A couple of girls entered the restaurant and came to sit at the grill. They looked curiously over Ukyo, as if she was some bug they couldn't decide if it was gross or not, and whispered their order to her. That was the other part she hated; everyone spoke in whispers to her now, as if raising their voices would cause her to explode. Like a bomb, she thought sourly. However, she kept her face carefully blank and began cooking their orders. Unlike Ranma, she had a poker face, she thought. But unlike before, when the merest thought of her Ranchan would bring a smile to her face, the thought of him only saddened her. She wondered what he was doing? Was he cleaning up the dojo? Or maybe taking care of Akane?

The last thought caused a sharp pain in her chest and Ukyo determinedly refocused her mind on the food sizzling in front of her. But in her mind, she could still see the fleeting mental image her thought had conjured of Ranma at Akane's bedside and it made Ukyo want to cry.

"...and I heard they had to take her to the hospital a couple days ago, she was so sick!" The girl in front of Ukyo said. When Ukyo looked up, curiosity in her eyes, the girl looked down guiltily.

Ukyo felt her temper spiking, but she bit down on the angry words she wanted to yell. "Who are you talking about?" She asked, trying to sound uninterested. She knew who they were talking about but this was the first she'd heard of Akane being sick enough to require a hospital visit.

"Oh, um," the girl stuttered, looking at her friend for help. Her friend just mutely shook her head, watching Ukyo like one would watch a poisonous snake; she looked terrified.

"You're talking about Tendo Akane, right?" Ukyo asked again, still keeping her voice mild and uninterested. Only her hands shook, betraying her anger. All around her the restaurant was quiet, straining to hear this forbidden conversation. "I heard she was sick."

"Y- yes, um, that's right." The girl was trying to look anywhere but at Ukyo. "They say she has a cold."

"Is that so?" By now, Ukyo could hear the strain in her own voice. She took a deep breath and carefully plated the girls' food. "That's a shame. Here's your food, if y'all will excuse me for a second."

Ukyo purposefully put her spatulas away and strode to the back room as if she had just a simple restocking errand. Behind her she could hear the buzz of speculation growing louder with every step she took. When she reached the door, she heard, quite loudly, the girl at the grill say, "She must have been the one who poisoned Tendo-san. Did you see the way she reacted?"

Ukyo felt the hiccup of a sob about to overwhelm her and she slammed the door shut behind her, resting her back on it for a mere second before racing up the stairs to her room. She could hear Konatsu loudly asking everyone to leave, anger apparent in his voice. She just shook her head desperately and, when she got to her room, slammed that door too before falling on her futon and giving in to the tears.

The worst part about the cruel words and the rumors was that it really did make Ukyo wonder if she was as horrible as people were speculating. Was she really the type of person to poison someone? Was she that cold? And when she soul-searched for the answer, she only cried harder.

* * *

She didn't know how long it was after she had run away that Konatsu quietly knocked on her door and asked to enter. At first she wanted to yell at him to go away, to leave her to her tears and self-loathing, but then she remembered his tender looks of worry from across the restaurant. So instead of giving into her childish desire, she sighed and leaned up on her elbows to look at the door.

"Yeah, you can come in, sugar."

He peeked his head through first, swept his eyes over her red eyes, puffy cheeks, and disheveled hair, and smiled gently as he came the rest of the way through carrying a tray of food. Not for the first time Ukyo wondered how she managed without him before, or how she would manage if he ever decided to leave. Of course, once upon a time, she would have just told herself that it didn't matter; she would have her Ranchan and she wouldn't need Konatsu. But ever since Ranma disappeared to go to China--no, even before then, if she was honest--she'd had a growing sense of dread whenever she had seen Ranma and Akane together. They hadn't even really been acting that different, but there was a new sense of closeness between them. Akane seemed to be gentler whenever she was around Ranma, and Ranma seemed to be always looking at her, his eyes soft and that liquid blue that Ukyo daydreamed about. The dread grew heavy in her stomach until she wondered how she still managed to walk around with its weight. It was just more recently that Ukyo had wondered what she would do if she didn't marry Ranma, if everything she had been working for these last ten years ended up being for nothing. Those thoughts had made her angry, not only at Ranma but also at Akane. Maybe that was why, when Shampoo came to her and mentioned a joint effort crashing their wedding, she had agreed without any hesitation. She had been desperate, so desperate, and so angry at him, Akane and the world, she agreed to do something she knew she would never feel proud of. She had known if she hadn't done something, she would have lost Ranma forever.

But I probably lost him anyway, Ukyo thought, trying to feel the anger she had felt before but instead only finding a hollow hole where it once had been. She sighed again and watched Konatsu carefully arrange the food in front of her. Konatsu, for all his training as a woman, looked surprisingly masculine at that moment. He had taken down his hair from the elaborate hairstyles he liked to wear and it fell in a thick, mahogany waterfall down his back. He had also changed from his usual kimono, instead kneeling in front of her in a faded pair of jeans and a loose white shirt. His face was still pretty, too pretty to ever be considered manly, but it seemed to suit him. Ukyo found herself feeling a sort of motherly pride toward him that he was slowly, very slowly, starting to feel more comfortable as a man. He'd make some woman a fine husband one day, she thought, and though that saddened her, it also made her feel glad. She didn't want both of them to be lonely and miserable for the rest of their lives.

"Ukyo-sama?" Ukyo shook herself from her musings and saw Konatsu's understanding smile prompting her to take the spoon he was offering her. She flushed a little but took the proffered spoon with a nod of thanks.

He had arranged, very stylistically she realized, a bowl of soup, rice, and some sort of pudding on the tray in front of her. The soup steamed beautifully and smelled wonderful and she suddenly felt hungry. As she dipped her spoon in the soup, which was a thick red color, she noticed she was the only one with food. She stopped her spoon before it broke the soup's surface again and looked up at Konatsu.

"Where's yours?"

"Downstairs," he said, making encouraging hand motions. "I'll go get mine once I know you like the food."

"Alright," Ukyo said, grateful he wasn't going to make her eat alone. She had done that for so many years while she was growing up that she hated it now. The soup was as delicious as it looked and she closed her eyes in reflex as she let it sit on her tongue and slowly, slowly trickle down her throat. Warmth was growing in her stomach, but she knew it wasn't due completely to the soup. Konatsu was thoughtful and gentle and he didn't hold her recent actions against her. In fact, he hadn't said anything the night she came back from the wedding, her fancy kimono torn and singed, her face a blank mask of shock. Instead, with understanding hands he had helped her out of her kimono, bandaged the few wounds she had, and then left her alone to mourn. She also knew he had defended her to some of her customers, even going as far as kicking out a customer that had gotten too mouthy on the subject of Akane's supposed poisoning. No one had ever defended her like that before. But that was just how Konatsu was, kind and wonderful.

Tears burned at her eyes again and slowly made wet tracks down her cheeks. Konatsu panicked, thinking it was the food, and began apologizing for everything from the food to the way he dressed to an overdue library book he was sure was going to smear Ukyo-sama's pristine reputation.

Laughter bubbled out from her throat and she spent the next few minutes flip-flopping between wet, soppy sobs and equally wet laughter. Konatsu conjured some tissues from somewhere and mutely handed them to her one at a time as she tried to control her hysteria. When she finally succeeded, she made Konatsu go get his own food as she forced herself to drink the soup again despite not being hungry anymore.

"It was wonderful, thanks," she said when she had drained the bowl and managed to eat half the bowl of rice. Konatsu ducked his head, a slight blush on his cheeks, and looked down at his own soup.

"My grandmother used to make it for me when I was little," he said, his voice soft and reverent. Ukyo hadn't known he even had a grandmother, but somehow it pleased her to know he had known kindness in his life before she had met him. "She was a kind woman," he continued, finally looking up at Ukyo. "Just like you, Ukyo-sama."

It was Ukyo's turn to drop her eyes and she sadly shook her head. "No, I'm not kind."

"Yes, you are," Konatsu said forcefully, a slight tinge of anger noticeable in his voice. Ukyo didn't know whether to be stunned or impressed that he was contradicting her. "You are kinder than you give yourself credit for! And if you were truly cruel, you would not be feeling guilty for something that was not even your fault."

Ukyo made a face at him, feeling a little of her own anger coming to the surface. "Oh, and how do you know that I didn't poison Akane?" she challenged him.

"Because," he said, his anger seeping out of his voice and being replaced by weariness, "I poisoned her." He hung his head and went into a full repentant bow, his forehead on the floor.

For a full minute, Ukyo could do nothing but stare at him, her eyes wide with shock. Inside her chest, her heart beat painfully. The air around her seemed strangely thick, as if she moved she would feel resistance on her arms and legs, and her lungs begged for the lighter air of five minutes earlier.

"Why?" she finally managed, trying to seek out her answers in the back of his head. But all she could see was Ranma's angry face at the wedding and Akane, frail and sad, watching him go against his very nature when he did not forgive Ukyo and Shampoo. Ukyo suddenly saw in Akane's face the same aching sadness that she was feeling at the moment, being the cause of someone you loved changing their very self for you, and the helplessness of being unable to stop it. She felt she could say, with utmost certainty, she knew exactly what Akane had felt at that moment.

"Because I didn't want you to be sad anymore," Konatsu said, his words muffled by the ground and yet oddly loud in her ears. "I had hoped that Akane-sama's sickness would cause Ranma-sama to visit you, for comfort if not to ask for your help. Or that her absence from school would give you the opportunity to talk to him in private."

His voice hitched with pain; Ukyo had a feeling it wasn't only due in part to having caused another person harm. She had a feeling it was also because she had become the target of suspicion and ridicule as a result of his actions. Ukyo felt oddly numb as she listened to his words, because they didn't seem possible. Konatsu was the pure one out of the two of them... wasn't he?

"I miscalculated. I didn't realize the townspeople would accuse you, Ukyo-sama! Truly!" His voice begged for understanding, though not for forgiveness. What he had done was probably unforgivable, he knew that.

"And I'm sorry that I've let it go on this long without coming clean, Ukyo-sama. I will go to Ranma-sama and Akane-sama tomorrow and beg forgiveness. Then the townspeople will know-"

"No," Ukyo finally said, her quiet voice cutting Konatsu's babbling off quite effectively. She had realized during his explanation that the thought of everyone's cruel stares directed at Konatsu was more painful than having them directed at her. She didn't understand the reasoning behind that feeling, only knew it was true. She wanted to protect him more than she wanted to be free from the blame.

Now she understood his reticence this last week. Why he'd been so quiet, guiltily averting his eyes at times, or why he had been quick to anger when a customer pointed a finger at her. Now she knew why he had been trying to hard to protect her and ensure her happiness.

"No," she said again, gently touching Konatsu's shoulder until he looked up at her, tears carving tracks in his cheeks. "Is this something Akane can get over, or does she need an antidote?"

Konatsu let his puzzlement show. "It shouldn't have lasted his long, or gotten this bad. It supposed to only cause temporary symptoms. I used it all the time when..." he looked bashful suddenly. "Well, when I wanted to get out of work for a day."

Ukyo quirked a smile at him. His embarrassment was funny, even at a time like this. "And there's no way you could have given her a stronger dose or made a mistake?"

He quickly shook his head. "No, I made sure. I didn't want to hurt her."

Ukyo considered this as Konatsu watched her face worriedly, biting his lip in a way that was feminine and very cute. She'd have to break him of that, she thought absently.

"I don't think she's faking; Akane isn't really the type of girl to trick or fool others. She's very straightforward." Konatsu nodded to this assessment, but Ukyo didn't acknowledge him. "And if you didn't give her too strong of a dose, then either she really did catch a cold or someone else gave her something too."

"The question is," Ukyo continued, "is what we can do about it without revealing your part in it."

Konatsu worried his lip even more. "Ukyo-sama, are you sure...?"

"Yes," she snapped. "Now help me think of something," If she didn't want to think too much about her reasons, she sure as hell wasn't going to let him analyze them either.

* * *

They brainstormed for over an hour before concluding the best they could do was take an antidote mixed in some soup to Akane and hope it got rid of some, if not most, of the symptoms. Konatsu warned Ukyo multiple times that he had never made an antidote for it before because, as he had said earlier, it had never lasted his long. It was like a 24-48 hour bug, he said. But because Akane's sickness had lasted over a week, there was probably something else complicating matters. Ukyo just waved away his concerns and asked him to make an antidote that would do the job.

Before long, Ukyo stood by the door of the restaurant with one hand on the handle and another carefully holding a steaming container of the soup Konatsu made earlier. They hoped the soup would disguise the antidote, as well as act like a peace offering. Ukyo just hoped they wouldn't immediately throw her out the door and the soup down the drain.

Konatsu offered Ukyo an umbrella, pointing shyly up at the sky where she could see some clouds forming. "Just so you don't catch a cold," he said in explanation.

She smiled wryly. "Yeah, heaven forbid, right?"

They stood awkwardly for a moment, feeling they should both say something and neither knowing exactly what it was. Somehow this moment was bigger than righting a wrong and trying to make amends. Ukyo just couldn't say what it was.

"Ok, I'm off," she said, unlocking the door and pushing past the cloth that hung just inside. The night was a bit chilly, but the fresh air felt great and helped to calm some of the nerves that seemed to dance electrically across her skin.

"Come back safe," Konatsu finished the ritual goodbye and watched her walk away until he could no longer see her. Ukyo also watched him out of the corner of her eye until she rounded a corner and fought down the urge to run back and beg him to come with her. But no, she reminded herself, straightening her shoulders. She had to do this alone. And, she wanted to see Ranma, didn't she? But her feet dragged the short distance to the Tendo Dojo, her heart beating a nervous tattoo in her chest.

The gate to the house loomed more than she remembered, and she paused a moment to gather her courage and gumption. A part of her mind shrilled that she shouldn't be doing this; Ranma said he didn't want to see her for awhile. If she went now and he was still mad, she could lose whatever little chance she might still have. Her feet seemed to root to the ground for a moment as that fear squeezed her heart. It would be so easy just to turn around, to walk back to the warmth of her store and tell Konatsu she tried. But then she remembered the look on Akane's face a week ago, and the look on Konatsu's face an hour ago, and she knew she couldn't turn back.

Out of this whole mess, this chaotic disaster she partially was responsible for, Akane didn't deserve any of it. Ukyo knew, without a doubt, if it had been Ukyo in Akane's place about to marry Ranma, Akane might have been sad and angry, but she would have also tried to be happy for both of them. She would have been standing in front of Shampoo and her bombs, not beside her helping. And instead of feeling happy that Ranma had finally lashed out at Ukyo and Shampoo, Akane had seemed very sad at the time. Akane hadn't wanted Ranma to change his nature for her, and Ukyo didn't want Konatsu to change for her, either. So she would fix this and move on with her life.

Ukyo firmed her resolve and pushed open the gate, feeling the resistance in her legs for only a moment before there was only a sense of determination. That lasted to the front door, where her nervousness returned, but she knocked on the door before she could think too much about what she was doing.

She heard Kasumi call out a faint, "Coming!" and nervously shuffled on the doorstep until the door slid open and the eldest Tendo daughter was looking down at her, a puzzled smile on her face.

"Why, hello, Ukyo. Can I help you with something?" Instead of stepping to the side of the door and inviting Ukyo in, Kasumi stayed planted in the very center, making it very clear she was not yet welcome inside. Ukyo wasn't expecting anything different, but it still hurt that even Kasumi was angry at her.

"Um, yes, I..." she trailed off, finding she couldn't face Kasumi's searching look. She looked at the soup instead. "I heard Akane was sick and so I thought I'd bring her some soup. Konatsu made it, but it's pretty good, and-"

"That is very thoughtful, thank you," Kasumi interrupted, a war between suspicion and good manners warring on her face. In the end, she slowly stepped to the side and motioned at Ukyo. "Why don't you come in and give it Akane?"

That had Ukyo's head flying up, a panicked look on her face. She hadn't thought they'd let her see Akane. She thought they would just take the soup and politely tell her to go home. But Kasumi was watching her expectedly, so Ukyo forced a smile on her face and carefully stepped in the entry way, taking off her shoes.

"Thanks," Ukyo whispered, heart thudding painfully in her chest. She expected Ranma to pop up any second and start yelling at her to leave, but a minute, then two, went by and Ranma didn't appear. "Um, where is Ranma?" she asked hesitantly.

"He's out doing some errands for me," Kasumi answered, watching her face. Apparently she saw what she wanted and motioned again, this time to the stairs. "Why don't you go up and say hello to Akane? I just ask that you don't excite her, as she is still getting over her cold."

"Oh, um, OK..." Ukyo said, starting up the stairs. When Kasumi put a gentle hand on her arm, she nearly jumped a foot in the air.

"Let me have the soup. I'll heat it up for her," Kasumi said kindly, her hand out expectantly. Ukyo reluctantly gave her the soup and hoped she did only just heat it up. Somehow she had the feeling the older sister was going to inspect it for anything out of the ordinary first.

Then Ukyo was alone on the stairs, her heart beating so loudly it was a wonder no one came out from the other rooms to seek out the noise. She took a calming breath and made herself walk up the steps, her mind racing as to what she could say to Akane. The last time they had seen each other, Ukyo had been throwing bombs at her and destroying her wedding dress. What could she say after that? I'm sorry didn't seem to be strong enough, and yet, she thought it might be the only thing she really could say...

A little yellow duck proudly bore Akane's name and Ukyo stared at the duck, then the handle of the door, a good minute before she could muster up the courage to knock softly on the door. She was hoping Akane was sleeping and therefore wouldn't hear the soft knock, but then her voice called for her to come in.

The door opened before she could even move to open it and Ukyo found herself staring at the middle Tendo sister, her sharp brown eyes cool and calculating as they moved over Ukyo's face and frozen body. Nabiki's lip curled a little, though whether in dislike or in a smile Ukyo wasn't sure, and looked over her shoulder toward where Akane must have been sitting.

"It's Ukyo, Akane."

Silence pressed down on Ukyo for a moment and she waited with baited breath to see if Akane would even see her. Then, with a soft cough, Akane told her to come in.

She looked a lot more fragile than a week ago, Ukyo saw guiltily. She must have lost weight, because her pajamas didn't quite fit her right anymore. One shoulder of the shirt was slipping down, emphasizing the shadow between her neck and collarbone, and Akane impatiently pulled it back up. She sat in her bed, the covers pulled up to her waist as she leaned against the wall, and even that looked like it was costing her energy. Her hair fell clean and soft around her thin, pale face, though her eyes sparkled with some inscrutable emotion Ukyo couldn't decipher. Her hands sat clenched in her lap.

Ukyo cleared her throat, wanting to break this heavy silence. "Um, hi, Akane."

Akane didn't smile, but she didn't look particularly angry either. "Hello." She looked around Ukyo to Nabiki who was lounging against the door, that curl still on her lips. "Could you give us a few minutes please?"

Nabiki considered Akane for a moment before she pushed off the wall. "Sure, just yell if you need me."

"Thanks," Akane said, watching her sister leave. Again, the silence descended, though it wasn't quite as heavy now. Ukyo took that opportunity to look around the room, surprised. The room certainly looked as if someone sick had been living there awhile. Tissues were scattered around the room, obviously in easy reach to wherever Akane decided she wanted to sit, and on her desk was every shape and size of medication bottle, at least ten of them. The room wasn't stuffy, per say, but there was an air of sickness that Ukyo could acutely feel. That was to be expected, but what really surprised Ukyo was the IV drip that sat in the far corner of the room, forlornly out of place. Akane followed Ukyo's gaze and quirked a smile.

"I couldn't keep anything down for a few days, so I had to have an IV drip to keep my hydrated." She looked at Ukyo and the quirky smile grew a little. "Those things suck, just in case you were wondering. You have to take them everywhere with you. Even to the bathroom."

The disgust in her voice made Ukyo laugh a bit and the two softly giggled for a moment. Then Akane stopped and suddenly looked exhausted. "Should I ask why you're here?"

Ukyo felt the laughter die in her throat, though she couldn't blame Akane's suspicion. She hadn't always been the friendliest toward her, and on more than one occasion had tricked her to try and get Ranma away from her. Ukyo didn't regret any of those times, all is fair in love and war after all, but she didn't blame Akane for her suspicion either. Compounded with the wedding disaster, Akane actually had quite a lot to be mad at Ukyo for. But she simply sat quietly, looking frail but beautiful, and waited for Ukyo to answer her. Akane really had changed, Ukyo realized sadly.

"I came to apologize, mostly," Ukyo started, unable to look Akane in the eyes. "There's probably a lot of things I should apologize for, both to you and Ranchan, but I'm not sorry for some of them."

Ukyo found she couldn't stop talking so honestly, even though she knew it wasn't the smartest idea. But once the floodgates opened, she couldn't close them again.

"After all, I love Ranma too, you know?" she babbled, not even listening to the words anymore. "So I tried to get him to love me. And if that meant I had to do some dishonest stuff, or tricking you guys, I didn't mind doing it. I figured it was like a battle, and anything goes, you know? But there was always this line I wouldn't cross, because I knew once I did, there would be no going back. And I felt real good about not crossing that line, because I knew Shampoo crossed it and that made me a better fiancée than her, right? And I convinced myself that you would cross that line if you had the chance, so I made myself feel real good.

"But even before you guys went to China, I started to notice that I was losing Ranchan. There was something different about the way he acted when he was with you and it scared me..." she paused long enough to take a quick look at Akane's face and found it attentively blank. She wasn't letting anything through. Ukyo sighed, and continued. "Then you guys got back from China, and two days later I get an invitation to your wedding in the mail, and I... I lost myself. I let Shampoo talk me into helping crash your wedding... No, that's not right. She didn't have to convince me, because I wanted to do it. I wanted to hurt Ranma for not choosing me, and hurt you because he chose you,

"And I crossed that line I promised myself I'd never cross." Ukyo could feel tears running down her face and she impatiently rubbed at her cheeks. "I did something I knew would hurt you, and Ranchan, and anyone who got in my way. And I didn't care that I could hurt people, because I was hurting so bad inside. I knew it was wrong, and that's what makes it worse, is because I knew.

"Anyway," Ukyo took a breath. "I was wrong, and I'm sorry if I hurt you. I'm sorry about everything, really, but that most of all. That's all I came to say."

Akane was still staring at Ukyo, a considering look on her face, then looked over Ukyo's shoulder. "You can come out now, Ranma. I think she means it."

Ukyo froze, her heart stopped and her breath felt icy in her lungs. From behind her, she could hear someone shuffling and moving something aside and then there was Ranma, his blue eyes carefully blank, going to stand next to Akane's bed. Ukyo wanted to scream at Akane that what she had done was cruel and it wasn't fair to have her pour out her heart when Ranma had been hiding the whole time. But then she watched Akane give Ranma an exasperated glare and flick a finger at him.

"You didn't have to hide, you know. She wasn't going to hurt me."

Ranma didn't respond, just crossed his arms and gave Ukyo a thorough looking over. His eyes weren't blank anymore, but dark blue with hurt and questions. Ukyo wanted to run into his arms and beg forgiveness, but from the angle of his body and the way he stood over Akane, she knew he was still wary of her and what she could do. It broke her heart even more to realize that all the time he had been hiding, he must have been positioning himself to stop her if she had made a move to attack Akane. That realization was like a hard, black hard squeezing her heart; she had never felt anything so painful. And she knew, right then, she had lost Ranma forever. She suddenly just wanted to go home.

"I think I should leave," Ukyo stuttered, feeling the desire to flee become overwhelming. "Sorry to bother you."

She twirled around and put a hand on the doorknob when Ranma's voice stopped her dead. "I'll walk you to the door."

She nodded mutely and didn't turn around, even when she heard Ranma whispering to Akane and her respond. Then he was beside her, opening the door. Ukyo could feel the hot tears burning behind her eyes, but she refused to cry in front of Ranma. She would have time later; she would not shame herself even more by crying right now.

"Ukyo," Akane called out, resolve in her voice. Ukyo flinched slightly and looked over her shoulder. But instead of looking angry, Akane simply gave a sad, fleeting smile. "See you later."

Ukyo realized that was the equivalent of Akane forgiving her. The tears she refused to cry suddenly spilled out, dripping annoying down her cheeks to hang from her chin. "Yeah, cya."

Ranma was quiet as they walked downstairs, giving Ukyo the time to compose herself. She hadn't realized how much she had wanted Akane to forgive her, to understand. She had always thought that if anyone truly understood her, it would probably be Akane. She wondered if they hadn't been fighting over the same boy, if they would have been friends. She hoped so.

Kasumi came out of the kitchen just then, a steaming bowl balanced carefully on a tray. Seeing Ukyo wiping her tears away and Ranma's stiff movements, she carefully put down the tray and came over to Ukyo.

"Thank you for the soup, Ukyo. I'm sure it will help Akane," she said sweetly, handing Ukyo her umbrella. She saw Ranma stiffen slightly and look at Kasumi, but Kasumi just simply smiled at Ukyo. "Be careful walking home, won't you?"

"Yes, thank you," Ukyo responded automatically and watched Kasumi pick the soup tray back up and disappear upstairs. She braved a quick glance at Ranma and saw he was also looking at where Kasumi had disappeared, a crease between his eyebrows. The crease slowly eased and Ranma suddenly looked quite cheerful, considering the circumstances. He opened the door for Ukyo and waited until she had exited before following her outside, stepping into his own shoes.

It looked like Konatsu was right and it would be a rainy night. Already small drops of rain were splattering the walkway, giving a sharp, cool scent to the air. Ukyo thought Ranma would stop under the porch and see her off there but he walked her all the way to the gate, turning into a girl halfway there. Ukyo found herself looking down at the small redhead beside her and wishing he would say something.

Ranma remained quiet for a moment, looking out into the rain, before he focused bright eyes on Ukyo. "I'm still mad, ya know."

Ukyo's head dropped a bit, though she hadn't expected any different. She supposed she should have been happy he wasn't yelling at her, but at the same time she'd held the naive hope that after she had said sorry, that would be it. Things would go back to normal and Ranma would call her his Ucchan again. She squeezed her eyes shut and refused to let the tears that always seemed to lurk not far away leak out. She deserved no less.

"But," he continued, "thank you for the antidote."

Her eyes sprang open and her mouth formed a perfect O. Ranma snickered and told her she looked like a fish, which had her promptly closing her mouth, but she couldn't stop staring at Ranma wide eyed.

"But," she started.

"Dr. Tofu did a blood test when Akane wasn't getting any better and found the traces of a plant that old ninja clans supposedly used back in the day. Of course, there are only so many people in Nerima that would know about that plant and have the right motive, and we knew Sasuke wasn't smart enough."

The petite redhead gave Ukyo a searching look, but still finding blank amazement on her face, sighed. "Akane got an antidote a few days ago, which is why she's getting better now. But Dr. Tofu said it'd be better for the original plant to be used in the antidote."

There was that strange hollow pain in his eyes again, and Ukyo realized how worried Ranma must have been about Akane this whole time. It must have taken all of his resolve and strength not to hunt Ukyo and Konatsu down and demand the antidote, by force if necessary. She wondered why he hadn't.

Ranma read the question in her eyes and pointed upward where Akane's window was a warm glow in the growing darkness. "Akane wanted to wait. She said she had a feelin you'd be coming by." It was obvious from his tone of voice that he and Akane had probably fought about that very thing and she had won only because Ranma couldn't refuse her when she was determined.

Ukyo dropped her head again, unable to look Ranma in the eye. "I'm sorry," she whispered, knowing that wasn't enough but not knowing what else to say.

When he didn't say anything to that, Ukyo looked up tentatively. "Can I ask why..." her voice died out, unable to finish the question about him and Akane.

"Why she got so sick?" Ranma asked. It wasn't the question she wanted, but Ukyo nodded anyway. She didn't have the courage to ask the real question she wanted to ask. "Akane's got a real weak immune system, so it hit her hard." He sighed, then chuckled. "Though if you ask her, she's as healthy as a horse."

"Oh," Ukyo said, not quite satisfied but needing to get away. The rain was coming down harder now, the droplets beating a tempo of sadness on the stone walkway. All she could think of was taking the long way home and mourning her loss. She felt the weather was the perfect companion when she was so depressed.

"Well, I think I should go home now," Ukyo said, drifting toward the door. Ranma watched her retreat, his face varying between sadness and a small amount of relief. She took that as her cue and opened the door, ready to dash away.

"Cya, Ukyo," Ranma said, echoing Akane's words from earlier. She knew that would be the best she would get from him now, if at all, and nodded. The lack of her childhood nickname had said it all. The black hand squeezed her heart again, but she refused to let the pain or anguish show on her face.

"Bye, Ranma." She pushed through the gate and walked away as quickly as she could, telling herself she should be happy. Akane would get better, Ranma didn't hate her completely, and Konatsu's part in the poisoning would remain a select knowledge to only a few people. Yes, she should be happy.

But she cried the whole way home, at one point stopping to tilt her head back and cry her anguish to the sky. In response, the rain cooled her hot cheeks even if it couldn't erase her tears.

More than anything, Ukyo wished she could go back in time. Fix her mistakes, make a new start, be the person she wished she was. Yet she knew it was an impossible wish, so she just cried, cried until the blackness on her heart washed away, and made her way home.

Only there, she knew, could she start to heal.

* * *

What hurts the most

was being so close

and having so much to say

and watching you walk away

And never knowing

what could have been

and not seeing that loving you

was what I was trying to do

* * *

Sorry about the length and the, um, mood, but my muse was in charge of this monster and nothing I said or did could dissuade her. P I have to say, this wasn't exactly the story I set out to write (Ukyo wasn't even supposed to be the main character, Ranma was), but I'm quite happy with the way it turned out. The song I was listening to, and which inspired this story, was "What hurts the most." When Ranma was the main character, I was listening to the Rascal Flatts version. But then I found the techno version by Cascada and suddenly BAM! Ranma was gone and Ukyo was talking instead. I think the lyrics fit her better anyway.

Oh, and if I made a mistake in Konatsu's history, I'm sorry! ; I only know the sketchiest details about his past before he came to work for Ukyo, so I ran with what I knew and filled in what I didn't. Similarly, if his character seems OOC, I apologize for that as well, but I must say he was fun to write! Hehe.

Please rate and review, if you wish, but if not, thanks for reading anyway!

PS: You'll find a lot of my Ranma fics will revolve around the Saffron incident, before or after, as well as the failed wedding attempt, before or after. I find those two events to be the most fascinating and inspiring (writing wise) of the entire series, though I do love the entire series to death. However, I apologize for the, um, lack of variety of my fiction. P


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